I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
