How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
false alarm, still single
Randomize
