she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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