OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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