be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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