i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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