things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
