AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
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