SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
