i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
