Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
