we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
