they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
