at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
