Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
