Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
