I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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