in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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