Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize