Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
