new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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