I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
