At least make sure they are 18
Why
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
