you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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