we have pet lesbian snakes
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
