Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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