the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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