This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
