My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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