I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
