I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
