I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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