Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
