i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
