Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
