u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
