Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.

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(559): View more from California

i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.

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(503): View more from Oregon

like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be

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(917): View more from New York City

you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

(720): View more from Colorado

ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

(917): View more from New York City

no it doesn't.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is

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(330): View more from Ohio

Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..

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(253): View more from Washington

Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.

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