i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
