today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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