My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
