Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
