im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
