Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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