I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
