plz talk dirty to me
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
