Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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