But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
