We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
