When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My dick has a subreddit
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
