god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
