She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
